homophobia ~ unreasoning fear of or antipathy toward homosexuals
and homosexuality.
Just last weekend, I was out with some friends to a pool party. Something very interesting happened. Some dude walked past one of my guys and stepped on his toe, albeit mistakenly. Dude retraced his steps to apologise and unconsciously brushed his palms on my friend's side beards. My four other friends at the table (two males and two females) sensed the sudden irritation and repulsion of our friend and marvelled at the guts of this fella who obviously couldn't hide what he was. I guess he had no inkling that our friend was highly homophobic. But then our friend is a cool dude who doesn't like scenes and abhors violence with a passion so he let the whole scenario pass.
Later on, as we were about leaving we replayed the scenario at the car park and one of the other dudes said if he had been the recipient of that unusual gesture from a fellow male, he would have responded with a jab to the guy's chin. We all laughed about it and teased our friend some more just to make a lighter mood of the matter and we went our separate ways.
Pondering about it all and juxtaposing that scenario with a few others I have encountered, I have come to the conclusion that men (virile heterosexual ones) have a big problem with other men coming too close especially in ways expected of a woman. Heterosexual males (like me) do not want you displaying your gay tendencies and passes around them. We don't care if you are what you are, afterall everyone has a choice to be what they want to be, but please don't make a pass at a 'straight' dude. He will definitely find it offensive. And he might not be as calm and tolerant as my friend. He might be extremely homophobic and I bet you would understand when he reacts.
Daniel Omizu-Ojadua
Twitter: @dannyomizu
